i jhust puked up my retainher.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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