I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
