party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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