you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
