Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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