First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
