My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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