My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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