so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
