first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
it's like iHOP with fire
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
