I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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