direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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