My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
