Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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