you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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