i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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