Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
