You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
