He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
