You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I am available for nakedness
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
