Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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