you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
