so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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