So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
