i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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