I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
