I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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