My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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