i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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