I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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