I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
