walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
