I must be too annoying 4 u.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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