Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
