she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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