Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
