There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
