I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Drunk walkin through police station. America
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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