from now on my penis is your penis
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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