fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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