The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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