dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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