it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
