How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
