It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
