What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
