But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
