We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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