i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize