I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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