Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
