Nicole vs. Life
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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