I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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